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November 29, 2004
sponge-tastic trailers
whimper
how much longer will us poor Brits have to wait now?
by groc at 10:50 PM | Comments (0)
Rex
by groc at 08:41 PM | Comments (0)
sighs
The comments facility is currently suspended until a current attack of spam comments abates.
F*c*ing *u*ts
by groc at 03:28 PM | Comments (0)
naff naff and naff
Some things which I find irredeemably and totally naff:
The male office workers uniform of white shirt and tie. A naffness which Mr Blair has managed to take to whole new heights. Thanks Tony.
Seeing people walking along the street clutching those giant size paper cups of coffee from one of those evil coffee emporiums. 1. No one needs to drink that much coffee in one go. 2. You need to sit down to drink that stuff, stop being such an idiot. 3. I hope you manage to spill the whole lot down yourself and scold yourself very badly in the process you sad poseur. Unfortunately these people are more likely to do some other poor innocent pedestrian an injury. 4. Coffee-breath. Not pleasant -ever. OK?
Those chronically tragic bastards who think it’s such a brilliant and clever thing to post a picture of their new iPod up on flickr. As if they think they’re the only person to have ever done it. But it's one of things I look at every now and then - it's like picking at a scab.
by groc at 12:40 AM | Comments (0)
November 27, 2004
Rupture the rapture
I’ve had this craaaaaazy idea. You should know by now that (aside from rigging the voting with their electronic voting booths) a sizeable swing to Bush’s recent election victory was brought about by the neo-conservatives appealing to those wacky Christian fundamentalists. A large part of whose creed is this thing they call ‘the rapture’ - the belief that we are about to enter the’ end times’ (apparently they can’t spell let alone even pronounce ‘apocalypse‘) any day now. On that day all those true believers will fly off or be beamed up or something up to heaven. Leaving all us non-believers (the sinners) behind to suffer immeasurable torments and tortures while the world falls apart.
My idea is this - that everyone who doesn’t believe this childish fantasy nonsense - should all together as one on the one set date - start totally ignoring everyone they know to be a Christian fundamentalist.
“Have you seen the ranting Mr. Jones lately?’ ‘No’ ‘He must have been raptured away’ ‘Really? Lucky him’. Mr Jones would be going: ‘Hello - standing right here!’ By flatly and totally ignoring their existence, and not serving them in shops or restaurants or wherever for anything. Can you imagine what a head-fuck it would be for them. ‘Oh I’m supposed to be in Heaven? Why aren’t I in Heaven? Am I going to have to stay here and watch all these non-believers suffer the trails and tribulations of the End days. That’s not nice. I thought we’d get to ignore them while we‘re whooping it up singing ‘Hallelujah and prise be 24/7. Oooh I am feeling a bit hungry. But I can’t steal any food because I’m a good Christian and that would be a sin and I won't get into Heaven then.’
But more importantly maybe they should do this during an election and thus not count any of their votes. That would start to even things out a bit.
by groc at 10:32 PM | Comments (1)
the Mark Gattiss - Dr Who connection
Old 1999 BBC2 Dr Who night spoof. (Scroll down to the last two sketches.)
Interview in the Sunday Herald. (Brief mention of the Dr Who novels he's written.)
Playing a friend of Turlough's in an audio drama.
by groc at 05:56 PM | Comments (0)
HM Gov & IT
Not very good with the whole thing are they?
by groc at 05:38 AM | Comments (0)
November 26, 2004
mole in a chair
so jealous of this kinder egg toy...
by groc at 08:25 PM | Comments (1)
how to fold a t shirt in 3 seconds
I saw someone do this on that dodgy Straight - no wrong, Queer eye for a closeted - no sorry, Straight Guy (y)UK show. Of course it was a throw-away moment so they didn't bother themselves to show us - the audience, how it was done properly. (After all the real message of these shows is that you need (self appointed) experts to tell you how to do everything and you also need to be spending a lot more money on absolutely everything). Anyhow I digress, I've accidently stumbled upon how it's done - with a little mpeg movie too.
by groc at 02:03 PM | Comments (3)
November 22, 2004
happy birthday
In a weird coincidence I had occasion to google for Robert Vaughn today. And it's his birthday! Happy Birthday Napoleon Solo/ Lee/ Gelt / Harry Rule / Ross Webster etc. etc.
by groc at 06:55 PM | Comments (0)
the beginning of the end for VHS
Dixons are to stop selling them. Darn it. They could have had the courtesy to have waited until DVD recorders are a lot cheaper and more plentiful and blank DVDs are cheaper...
And what am I going to do with the ridiculously huge mountain of tapes I've amassed over the years when my two, already quite elderly, VHS machines die on me?*
I know these things are subjective and all - but I'm sure that over the years they're been making tape and machines worse and worse in order to make DVD picture quality look better. There was a time when I couldn't tell if something was broadcast live or if it was on tape. Now the difference is so bad it's like a slap in the face.
(*yeah I know I'm supposed to go through them and tranfer them onto DVD but that's a daunting and hugely time consuming task...)
by groc at 01:08 PM | Comments (6)
November 21, 2004
'tis the season
Years ago I remember a great TV program called Dinosaurs. It was like the Simpsons - but it was live action set in the age of er...dinosaurs. They had one episode where there was a spoof xmas TV commercial with the jingle “We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas, so go buy some paint.”
I have just this minute witnessed the real life equivalent of that for a wooden floor company. Order now and you too could have wooden floors just in time for Christmas. The end shot is of a dog in a Santa hat lying on the new wooden floor. Wooden floors - what could be more Christmassy?
Sighs. Oh just f*ck off.
unofficial Dinosaurs homepage.
by groc at 02:43 PM | Comments (3)
November 19, 2004
baby cuttlefish - the movie
3.54 meg quicktime movie. You have to do all that 'save as' business.
by groc at 01:19 PM | Comments (2)
You have papers?
"How could you fight terrorism if you ignored the obvious and pursued the ridiculous?"
Gotta love America - making all that fuss since Sept. 11 about how evil terrorists were attacking their country mainly because they were jealous of all that (supposed) freedom. Every day since then they've done all they can to strip away those freedoms one by one. Good call.
by groc at 12:26 PM | Comments (2)
November 18, 2004
8 Reasons
Why supermarket loyalty cards are not like a National ID card.
1. You volunteer to sign up for one.
2. No one will ever deny you goods or services at a shop if you haven’t got one.
3. No one ever checks up what information you provide. If you want a loyalty card for the points and money off offers they give you access to - no one’s bothered if you sign up for one as Mickey Mouse at Disney World. It's not a criminal offence to do so.
4. The police won’t ever be able to arrest you if you refuse to show them one or fine you thousands of pounds if you refuse to have one.
5. Loyalty cards are free - they don’t cost £35 (cheapest estimate so far given - but will probably be a lot higher).
6. You don’t have to have your irises scanned or fingerprint information on a Loyalty card.
7. The private companies who run Loyalty card schemes don’t spread information about what you buy all over the place with other companies (most loyalty don’t even keep any records on what items you’ve bought.)
8. Loyalty cards schemes don't waste billions of tax payers money that could be better spent elsewhere.
Here's an old Guardian article about Loyalty cards.
by groc at 01:52 PM | Comments (7)
November 17, 2004
Archie
by groc at 08:13 PM | Comments (1)
toy museum
by groc at 03:11 PM | Comments (0)
Turkeys
Oh look - here's President Bush thanking all the Turkey's that voted for Thanksgiving.
by groc at 10:43 AM | Comments (1)
JO and LL
The Allspark's forum's collection of Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane comic book covers. This is the stuff.
[via happyrobot]
by groc at 10:09 AM | Comments (0)
November 15, 2004
PIFs
old UK Public Information Films.
by groc at 04:48 PM | Comments (0)
spam subject lines
Genuine spam subject lines that just didn’t work:
Re: how was your vacation suicide
Re: a new bird with spring breastwork
Maybe I found that anthology
Why are you always offline confide
Sorry I was busy with a friend eaten
Maybe I found that ecstasy
-------------------------------------------
and I recieved this little story today:
"They wanted to know
what the hell was going
on—who was I? And
what had I done to the sky?
Too late almost to save
it, I took whiteout
to the street (the last
bottle on the shelf
at the all-night mini
mart on that same block),
dimmed the stars
and ushered back to bed
the little man and his grumbling
wife."
I wonder where it's from.
by groc at 01:37 PM | Comments (3)
Pressies!!!
Thank you - thank you- thank you Rakka & Leff.
by groc at 08:48 AM | Comments (3)
November 13, 2004
orangutan
Mmmmm okay so why has only one person looked at this photo on Flickr. One person? Yet I show a bit of my hairy leg and 58 people (at the time of writing) rush to view?
I don't understand people - I really don't.
by groc at 02:52 AM | Comments (5)
Until such time
that 'Merika comes back to it's senses may I humbly suggest a new slogan for their great seal: "E Pluribus Duo".
by groc at 02:09 AM | Comments (0)
apology not necessary
But it isn't those guys who have anything to be sorry about - it's the other 51% other Americans who have their heads so far up their own arses they can't see how completely wrong they are about ...well, just about everything.
Apparently (according to the popbitch) newsletter - the 3 part BBC2 documentary 'The Power of
Nightmares' is now up on Bit torrent. I urge everyone who hasn't seen this to grab it. Especially you US guys - because somehow I get the sneaky feeling it's not ever going to get shown over there.
by groc at 01:23 AM | Comments (2)
November 11, 2004
there's a
Rex the Runt DVD box set - why wasn't I told?!
I neeeeeeeed this.
by groc at 10:53 PM | Comments (3)
ooooh ooooh oooh
A Wallace and Grommitt film!!!???
can't wait - can't wait - can't wait.
by groc at 09:05 PM | Comments (0)
humphf
I wonder whatever happened to that 'free' Big Brother 2004 dvd from the Sun newspaper I sent a whole 20p coin off for ages and ages and ages ago?
Further proof that you really can't trust the Sun I guess.
by groc at 10:47 AM | Comments (2)
November 10, 2004
what a complete turkey (soda pop)
Now you can drink some Turkey Dinner flavoured soda pop.
Somehow I don't think Pepsi and Coca Cola have too much to worry about.
EW.
(Thanks Rakka.)
by groc at 08:24 PM | Comments (1)
yeah yeah yeah
by groc at 03:30 AM | Comments (1)
November 09, 2004
switch?
I sat through all of these (unused?) 'switch' (to a mac) commercial pieces, but it's just had the exact opposite effect on me to that which was intended. Instead of thinking 'oh I'd like a mac' I ended up thinking 'omigod - what a bunch of dorky losers who simply can't be bothered to learn how to use a PC properly'.
(link found through Linkmachinego. Pointing out the Clowes piece. Yeah, because you can't scan artwork and colour it on a PC... oh wait yes, you can.)
Further notes:
Would you employ Simone? - she can't be very good at her job, and with her 'tude. No.
Ruthkoff is so completely 100% wrong with his interpretation of the Bible story about the Forbidden fruit and the expulsion from the Garden of Eden that I was cringing.
by groc at 05:31 AM | Comments (12)
groan
it's begun. State-sponsored homophobia for schools. America is going to end up tearing itself in two.
This article scares me. How can you possibly have a viable credible democracy when actual votes are not properly counted, or are even casually thrown away simply because no one could be bothered to count them properly! Especially this year when I get the impression that a record number of the American public turned out to vote.
It's horrible to think that there may well be truth in that anarchist slogan which goes: "If voting changed anything - they'd make it illegal."
by groc at 04:33 AM | Comments (3)
November 07, 2004
crash
Mmm, this will make me think twice about ever getting *that* particular connection to Plymouth.
I wonder what the safety records of the Railways are like in other countries (here's ours). Are we uniquely crap? Considering that Britain actually invented trains and the railway system you might have thought we'd have kept the advantage and by now have some of the most modern and innovative railway transport systems in the world. But in that rather lazy self-defeating and utterly cheap* way that we have here, this is far from the case.
So depressing.
*Which is all the more ironic considering how horrifically expensive it is to travel by train, and how much of the profits are creamed off to give to shareholders and company directors.
by groc at 01:05 PM | Comments (1)
November 05, 2004
moby torturing
mwha-ha-ha...
and ooooh... want one but ohhhh ...rippoff prices.
by groc at 06:30 PM | Comments (0)
November 04, 2004
best package EVER!!!!!!!
(helping some poor unfortunates over in the colonies get over their recent bad news.)
by groc at 12:38 AM | Comments (1)
November 03, 2004
I can't bear to look
It's like watching a mass of brain-damaged turkeys voting for Thanksgiving / Christmas.
Update:
The Tories here in the UK successfully managed to pull a similiar trick here in the UK as they managed to get the Sun-reading working classes to vote for them time after time and thus bringing in those long dark years of Thatcherite misrule. All this despite the fact it was Tory policies which directly made the Working classes lives harder and harder.
I really have to ask if the stupid and the terminally masochistic should be allowed to vote.
by groc at 02:48 PM | Comments (3)
November 01, 2004
for my birthday treat
by groc at 01:23 AM | Comments (2)